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Hi, 'Veronica's Updates' are some of my life experiences over the past 18 months working with The C.C. and The Game of Love & 51%. Switch Flicked. Thankfully last Friday (25th August) while talking to mum (Carolyn) I was asked if I wanted to 'flick the switch' by The C.C. I most emphatically said yes and proceeded to flick the switch. The energies that I received were numerous. First I wanted to sob and cry with joy and anger of holding onto the energies for so long. Then there was elation of the future possibilities. It was an amazing experience lasting only a few minutes but even now (three days later) I have a smile just thinking about it. The changes are accruing. The greatest example that I can give is that I finished a product that had been made for me and I, prior to Friday, couldn't bring myself to make this very easy concoction. On Friday night when it came to using this product, or the inferior shop bought product, I just went and got the ingredients out of the cupboard and made it in two minutes. Once I had finished using it, it came to me that I was unable to make this product before as I thought I would mess it up somehow due to me being dumb, which is extremely illogical. But there you have it; that was one way that my thinking that I was dumb inhibited me.
________________________________________ A New Understanding While talking to CCC (Carolyn & The Collective Consciousness) I was able to Flick the Switch on a issue of belonging. Before the flicking of the switch I thought everybody became attached to their surroundings, house and belongings. After the switch was flicked I now feel as though I belong where my feet are; where I lay my hat. I had in the past become attached to a house, etc., and subsequently saw this as my identity. I now see my Self as my identity. I am now of the mind that a house is only a place to reside whether that is owned by myself or by another. The importance in a house is how I and its occupants live in it. ____________________________________ Just a little notation: Written with the permission of V: When The C.C. were giving us the above understandings they made it known to us that there is a subtle difference between personal belongings and other house type, financial type, business type, etc., belongings. Apparently human beings need to have 'personal belongings and personal space' such as our own bedroom or bathroom or study or somewhere where we can enjoy our own space dressed in our own 'personal' space belongings; colours, materials, clothing, refinery, etc. All other belongings/things we need to be 'objective' about.......Also they made it clear that V's young son, 13 year old Jon, is at an age where personal space and personal belongings are becoming important......They didn't give us a 'definite' age only to say that Jon is 'now' at an age where this is important for him. V's other two little ones, 8 & 7 are not affected by this need as yet...Carolyn ____________________________________ "Indeed we say this to all. There comes a time when the need for personal space/personal belongings become the due need. A place of sanctuary away from the hustle and bustle of everyday living. Yes? Yes....A need for all, in time." C.C.
________________________________________ A Move, a New Relationship and a Computer that Wouldn't Work. October has been a busy and an unusual month. There was a move, a new relationship and a computer that wouldn't work. This month I have been looking at my surroundings and making changes, alterations and tying all my surroundings to a theme. I found whatever I am able to do in my outer environment I am able to do to my inner self. My surroundings are now brighter and reflect the changes that have occurred. It has now been over three years since leaving my marriage and a year since I left Sydney. My life and that of my three boys has improved not only materially but in every manner possible, which is very encouraging as the only reason I stayed in my marriage so long was for financial security. However I have been able to provide my boys with what they need and give them a little of what they want (and this has been with only $20 a month child maintenance support from my ex spouse) as well as give them the most important thing, which is respect for themselves and others. I have discovered enough about myself that I am now able to invite others into my environment and for me to still remain myself in any situation, which is mostly a teacher of my three boys. I used to be scared that giving too much attention to my boys would scare any prospective partner off. Now I don't care; the person has to fit into my life and the boys are a part of my life. I have worked hard and long for the relationship that I now have with them and I'm not going to jeopardise that for any individual. Going on the couple of dates that I have been on has shown me that I don't need a relationship, and so when an individual who wants to be a part of my life comes forward then we will need to appreciate where each other stand; me with my boys, and he with his past, and come to an understanding of our individual needs. My computer has shown me that I want the best within my means and I want to be able to provide it for myself. Today I went out and did it. In the past I wouldn't have had the self esteem to spend that amount on myself or my surroundings. What a change! My surroundings are now becoming somewhere I want to be.....
________________________________________ A Christmas Party. This month has been a busy month working long hours and consequently learning a great deal. Went to a works' Christmas party on the advice of The CCC which I wasn't wanting to go to as it was a pub crawl and I didn't think it appropriate for child care workers to be seen jumping from water hole to water hole. However The CCC said that it would gain me respect and ultimately a full time position next year. In going I learned to trust my first impressions of these individuals and was able to stand up to my morals and standards while others around me encouraged me to do something which was not of my values. In doing this the respect that I have gained not only from the people who were there, but the rest of the work force, is enormous in stature. Since this day, individuals have sought me out and I am now having to decline work where once individuals would ignore me if others were present, and I would only receive minimal hours.
________________________________________ The Brain of Man The brain of man is ultimately after power. The brain comes in the form of partner, child, workmate, shop keeper and the list goes on. To gain this power the brain does anything that is going to gain this power. In the past the main form of assault was through forceful means. During this past month I came up against an individual who flawed me as he used charm, wit and gentleman like qualities and thus caught me completely off guard. I paid the price by having a night of highly volatile releasements. Thus this teaching grounded me in the knowledge that the brain of man is willing and capable of any means possible to achieve what it is programmed to do. This is the first step of not falling for this assault, i.e., understanding that this is what the brain does, and therefore combating this with the right steps. This, in my case, is to not give my power away by remaining with my feet on the floor and showing my power by going under the bombardment. This is done by not baiting, not becoming personally invested in the situation, place or person and thus having objectivity in all areas.
________________________________________ Discipline Is The Greatest Form Of Love. This month the outstanding teaching that has come my way is that Discipline is the greatest form of Love that I can give to my children. In coming to realize this I have totally let go of the need to please my children and in doing so have freed myself from the hold of not wanting them to not love me. In the past I taught and interacted with my children from the belief that if I didn't give all to my children then they wouldn't love me, and that would make me a bad person, mum and woman.
Today my belief structure is
different. I am the mother; the wiser, older person who is responsible
for providing an environment where everyone is treated with right action and a
balanced hand.
________________________________________ Rewards For My Past Efforts. This last month has seen me with many rewards for my past efforts. Firstly, I have been given a full time job in the centre I was after and secondly, I am now participating in dancing; a thing that I have longed to do for many years and have been given (it was arranged for me) a dancing partner who, in the past, has been in competition and therefore knows all the dance routines. My life with my boys has also had many rewards. My boys chose to sign up for the soccer season; something they didn't want to do last season due to not wanting to miss seeing their father. In a similar note, three weeks ago, their father and his partner tried to goad me into having a verbal fight with them in a public place. I was so calm and collected that my boys chose to stand behind me and occasionally set their father straight on particular issues; and this was after they had been in his company for approximately 48 hours. You're told that your life will be better doing this Game of Love and 51%. But at the time (as my life was the only way I knew it could be) I didn't and couldn't know just how much my life would change. The funny thing is I now expect my life to continually change for the better; and thus far it hasn't disappointed me.
________________________________________ Disappointment. The thing that I longed for (for many years) 'a partner' is now here in a vengeance and it is not always what I want it to be. I have to share my time; share the remote control and participate in re-teaching an individual my expectations. I've spent four years getting my children to where I am proud of who they are as individuals, and I cannot say this for my new partner. He has been taught by another and he has a brain that is in control the majority of the time. This individual has impeded my day to day living with my children as well as with me personally. I need to be diligent (once again) regarding my interactions with this individual and the consequences that this action will have on him and my household. Prior to him coming into my life I only had to be diligent outside of my house; as I'd put many years of teaching into my children and thus knew them inside and out, so my interactions with them came automatically. With this new individual I am 'back at the beginning', and this time this individual comes with adult ideas, stubbornness and a desire not to change. My disappointment lies in two areas. Firstly, this is a new individual who I feel I have to teach and suss out their underlying idiosyncrasies, and secondly, I have to make decisions with an individual who I go in and out of respecting. This process (The Game of Love & 51%) has taught me a new way of living that won't allow me (or my children) to be harmed. It seems a contradiction that I have to have a partner with these qualities. Looking around at any man, they all have 'the brain of man'. Looking back, if this individual came to me prior to this game I would have thought him a worthy partner. It's only now that I have come so far into the game that I expect so much more of any individual who I introduce into my personal life. Under this knowledge, it doesn't seem fair to expect any individual who hasn't had my teachings to live up to my teachings, but with saying that, this is what I want. I haven't had to play the 'human' game inside my sanctuary, and I am now pissed that there is a need.
________________________________________ Switches Flicked. (For more understanding of the 'Flicking of the Switch' go to) I am currently physically releasing after having the switch flicked on a number of issues. The first one was relating to luxury. My belief structure was that I needed the best, and that equated to the highest priced items and brand names. A great recent example of this is; I was given four mugs that were a high ticketed brand name, and on seeing the box I immediately liked them. After 'the flicking' I see them as a sterile cup which I no longer want to use and prefer a much cheaper no brand name mug that I am going to purchase more of. The second switch was in regard to status. My belief structure was that money and position meant status. Once the switch was flicked, status was no longer an issue; it then equated to how an individual lived. As an example; I was immediately remorseful for my non actions in regard to sticking up for the children under my charge. Previously I allowed another individual (due to her status of seniority) to control the class with a degrading tongue. In the past I would have agreed to her comments by not openly disagreeing. This past week, when I was faced with this situation, I handled it much differently. I was no longer under the control of ‘status’ as I once saw it and my day, as well as the children, enjoyed a much more positive day. The third and fourth switches were in regard to not taking things personally, and not holding onto revenge. Since the switch has been flicked I see the criticism coming my way and it is like water off a duck’s back. Instead of taking it personally I am seeing the idiosyncrasy that this individual thinks firstly that he knows better than me, and secondly, that his criticism can actually affect me. Previous to the flicking of the switch I would have taken the comment personally, then I would have brooded in this energy; mentally going over this situation ad infinitum. I would then feel stroppy toward this person and be uncomfortable within myself. This is no longer happening. Once the switch was flicked (in all of these instances) I felt an instant change of being; the old was gone and the new took its place. I now find myself reacting and acting in a completely different manner; it’s a change that affects not only who I am but also how I interact with the world.
________________________________________ A New Chapter. I now feel that I have gone through the process and life is now as life is. I haven't felt the need to write in the forum as I've known that if I'm going through a process, it is only a process, and I will come to the end with a clearer understanding. Life goes on ad infinitum: there are ups and downs but I know that I am capable and willing to play the game.The knowledge that I will always be on top, is a given (even when I don't think I'm on top). I'm thankful for this process of The Game of Love & 51%, and will write when I am inspired.
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